FLYING HIGH and IN THE DESERT

ANNOUNCEMENT: Just to give you a heads up, I now have a new, non-poetry blog called "The Burnzo Papers" where I share my unique perspective on the world's current events. Please check it out when you get a chance. Thank you for your support and Happy New Year!





FLY ME HIGH
by matt burns

Red-tailed hawk
Flying high
Please take me to your sky
Where I have a better eye

I'm blinded by being too low
The murkiness of this negative frequency
Takes me out of the know

Red-tailed hawk
Take me high
I am in this spell
I'm in hell



IN THE DESERT
by matt burns

I look around at what’s close to me
There’s sand as far as the eye can see

I am stuck in the desert here
Do I maintain hope
Or do I despair

There is no path in sight
To any new civilization
I must remain in this place
And be ok with the present situation

MALWARE

MALWARE
by matt burns

I’ve tried to reset
I’ve tried to cleanse
But it continues to cling to me

The intense rage comes and goes
The intense depression comes and goes
One minute I think I’m ok
But then I’m erratic again
Illogical
Irrational
My feelings
My emotions
My behaviors
Make no sense
Almost like they’re not even coming from me
But an external entity

That girl gave me malware
And no matter what I do
I can’t get rid of it

THE NEWS DOES SEEM TO SLEEP

THE NEWS DOES SEEM TO SLEEP
by matt burns

I've been trying to keep up with it all
Every day is something big and huge
It's all coming at me so fast
I finally catch up
And stay on top of it all
And I'm really proud of myself for it

Then Christmas comes
I scour the news sites
I scour
And I scour
But there's hardly anything
It's not only a slow news day
But there's hardly any news to speak of
I feel a void
I was apparently addicted to being on top of the news
There's nothing!

Curious it is
That there only seems to be big news in the world
When the news people are on the clock
And they're around to report it
And make it into BIG NEWS

When the news people are on a holiday
So isn't the news, it seems
Thus, maybe the news only exists
When the news people are around to fuel it
Build it up
Or maybe even manufacture it

If there's nobody around to report on that tree falling in the forest
Does it actually still make a noise?

Why don't we just take the news people away
That way the news can sleep every day
There will be no more crashing of trees in the world's forest
The world will have less noise
Quiet down
And peace will be restored

World peace can be realized
Simply by ridding the world of the news people

THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST

THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST
by matt burns

2014 is almost at a close
I look back on the past year
Mostly about the failed relationship
I think coulda, shoulda, woulda
Coulda shoulda woulda
I spend all my time thinking
And rethinking
Trying to wrap my head around what went wrong
Trying to trace things back
All the way back to the seeds of the destruction
But I find no definitive seeds
Or when I think I'm just about to find one
I find more root
And the root twists around and around
In circles
Tangling
Webbing

When it comes to a toxic relationship
Finding out exactly what went wrong
May not even be possible
Yet I can't turn off the coulda shoulda woulda
The endless racing of the mind
Trying to figure out what went wrong
24 hours, 7 days a week
Haunted

2015 is only a couple weeks away
As it comes closer
I see a fork up ahead in the road
Two different paths reveal themselves to me
A path where I remain haunted
And a path where I transcend my haunted mind
The choice is up to me
But it's not going to be an easy one
The Ghost of Christmas Past is powerful
And will be difficult to rise above

WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY

WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY
by matt burns

I sit up late
Drinking beer
And listening to RUSH
And I think about what really makes me happy
Because that’s what the spiritual therapist said to do
I’m supposed to arrive at this conclusion
But I’m having trouble

At first I think about strip clubs
I am genuinely always happy there
But I know the happiness is short-lived
The next day, I’m empty

And then I think about writing
I’ve been doing a ton of that
Tons and tons and tons
But no matter how much I do
I never really achieve any state of lasting happiness
Or even a sense of accomplishment, come to think of it

Maybe if I finally get rewarded for my writing
With recognition
And money
But I’ve never received a penny for my writing before
So I don’t know if that would make me happy
And whether the happiness would last much longer than at the strip club
So it’s all hypothetical
And exists in a potential future that may never manifest
I may NEVER get paid for my writing
So happiness needs to come from some place else

But I don’t know where
I really don’t

What I do know
Is that sitting here
Up late
Trying to think about what makes me happy
Racking my brain
Does not make me happy
In fact, I’m much more unhappy
Sitting here
Drinking
Stressing my brain
Thinking that I’m supposed to figure this out
And keep coming up dry

So I don’t know what makes me happy
And I think that’s fine for now
I do not know
What beautiful words
I…do…not…know

Eureka!
The devil hath taken on a new guise
That of a positive psychologist
A spiritual guru therapist
Telling me to go and meditate
And figure out what makes me happy
Knowing full well
That I will stress
And rack my brain
And be convinced my unhappiness is all my fault
And I'll hate myself for not identifying what makes me happy
And that clever devil will laugh knowing he made me worse off in the end

Tip of the hat to you, O DEVIL!
You hath tricked me again!
Nothing but reverence I give to you!
Once again
I am in awe of your tricky
Clever
Ways!

Yes, the irony
Sitting here stressing over what makes me happy
Thinking the answer must be so simple
But not getting anywhere with the answer
Has made me all the more unhappy
Brilliant, devil!

So what really makes me happy?
Not sitting here
Busting my brain
Thinking I should know what makes me happy

What makes me happy
Is knowing that I do not know
And it's ok not to know
That's what makes me happy

Be gone, devil!

MY DOG COMES IN MY ROOM

My dog exudes relaxation

MY DOG COMES IN MY ROOM
by matt burns

I’m sleeping
Well, not really
I woke up after about four hours
I try to go back to sleep
This has been happening a lot
I’ll wake up after an initial few hours
And can’t go back to bed
The alcohol that knocked me out initially
Has worn off
While stress and reality have surged back into the bloodstream

But then I hear the pitter-pattering of claws against the wooden floor
It’s my dog coming into the room
She mounts her bed
She scratches around a bit
I hear her circling
Calculating the most comfortable position
Then I hear her plop into a curled ball
With a dull groan
And then the relaxed exhale
Oh, that exhale!
So relaxing
So peaceful

Just her presence in my room
Her energy
Relaxes me totally
And I’m able to fall asleep again

CIRCLING THE RINK

CIRCLING THE RINK
by matt burns

Drifting around the rink
In circles
Not even lifting up my skates
Just gliding
And pumping
And drifting

Around
And around
And around
I go

I enter a meditative state
And I realize...

This is my life again
Drifting alone
In circles
In circles
And in circles

I look up ahead of me
I see a young couple
Probably high school age
Maybe early college
They're on a skating date
They're so cute
They're wobbling around
Awkward with the skates
They look so happy

In an alternative reality
That could have been us
But now she's married
It's only been a few months since we broke ties
But she's already married to another guy
She's entered a new chapter
While I'm circling around
Back to the old
Haunted by the past

I hear 'Uncle Matt!'
My nephew's skating behind me
He wants to race
So I race him
And he takes me out of my head
This is what I need!
I need to be out of my head!
But my nephew eventually gets tired
He takes a break
And I resume my circles
Around
And around
Around

What happened? 
I'll never wrap my head around it
All I know is that I'm back to being alone
Going around
And around 
In circles
Desperately looking for the new
But coming back around again
To the very 
Exact 
Same 
Old

THE SERGEANT BARKING IN MY FACE

THE SERGEANT BARKING IN MY FACE
by matt burns

Isis
Ebola
Bill Cosby
Ferguson
CIA torture report
What's after that?
Back to Isis again?
Isis is pissed and retaliates?

Every day something new
Can’t keep track of it all
Hard to follow
Hard to educate myself
As soon as I get a grip on one current event
Another one happens
And when I barely get a grip on that
There’s another one
And another
Like working the conveyor belt in an assembly line
If you’re not quick enough
You’ll fall behind
And everything will just
Whizz
On
By

The “news” today is a Drill Sergeant
Shouting in my face
One trending topic after another
Assaulting my senses
I feel disorientation
My head’s spinning
So much that
I'm paralyzed with overstimulation
And sensory overload 
To the point where I’m confused
Stunned
Numb
And more easily malleable
Easier to control

Like with a Marine in bootcamp
The point is to break me down
So that I easily take my orders

Because I've lost my grip on what the hell's going on in reality
I look for the government via the media to dictate it to me

I don't understand anything that's going on

I'm confused

Just tell me what I need to do

THOUGHTS ON BEING A GOOD SAMARITAN

This whole year of 2014 I've essentially been a pathetic pushover and it's time I draw the line. Like the poem says, sometimes you just have to push these people away and let them reap the consequences of their own poor decisions. You can't be Mr. Nice-Guy all the time.




THOUGHTS ON BEING A GOOD SAMARITAN
by matt burns

It's December
'Tis the season of giving
But you must learn
The fine
Tight-rope
Walk
Of being a Good Samaritan

God's idea of a Good Samaritan
Is not a person
Who cleans
Up
After another person's
Constant
Dumb
Mistakes

Sometimes people in constant distress
Need to
Rot
In the gutter
So they can learn
And make
Better choices in life

PSYCHOKINESIS

PSYCHOKINESIS
by matt burns

Boiling fears
And loathings
Fester in our subconscious
And fester
And fester

Some people say
These repressed energies manifest themselves
Physically
In the outer
Three-dimensional world
And cause actual physical events

So when you watch the Reality TV with all the 
Jersey bro-dudes
And the Hollywood Hillbillies
And the Honey Boobies
Honey Boobies’ mom was dating a sex offender?!
Cancel the show!
And you read the blogs about the “celebutards”
And see Kim Kardashian’s big, greasy ass on a magazine cover
Then come all the scandals
Bill Cosby
America’s favorite dad
A rapist?!
Disillusioned we are
And enraged we all get!

Then we watch the news
And there’s
Isis
Ebola
Then comes Fergusonola
White cops shooting blacks
Black criminals looting 
Burning down stores
Beating down whites!
Then comes Staten Island
Another black strangled by a cop
No indictment
Civil war imminent?!
The media makes us take a side
Are you with the cops?
Or with the blacks?
Fear the cops!
Fear the blacks!
They pit us against each other
Go and protest!
Polarized we become
And divided we rot
We can’t unite and get anything done
Frustration
Rage!

And collectively…

The negative energy
In each and every one of us
Psychokinetically
Manifests itself
As more negative energy in the world
And more bad events happen
Bad weather – superstorms, quakes, tornados, floods!
Bad disease
More bad Kardashian photos
(Kourtney just posed preggo and naked)
Disgusting
So gross!

And the media reports on these events
And we get even more loathing 
And more fear
And the negative collective consciousness
Psychokinetically
Manifests more negative events in the world

It’s a perpetual cycle of negativity
A snowball effect
A guarantee
That there will be constant fear
And loathing
Absolute hell
For all eternity

There is a great, epic war out there
Not good vs. evil
But positivity vs. negativity
Negative energy wants to win
But will we let it?

I WANT TO LIE IN THE GRASS

I WANT TO LIE IN THE GRASS

by matt burns

Sometimes after I mow the great big lawn

I’m all sweaty

And tired

And I want to grab a beer

And plop

And just lie on the freshly-cut lawn

Relishing in the end product of my hard labor

Soaking in the earth’s energy

Plug myself back into the universe

And feel my energy replenished

But I know

That if I do this

My skin will absorb the fertilizers

The pesticides

And the herbicides

This can’t be healthy

I want to enjoy the earth

And absorb its energy

But it’s often difficult to do this

Even if I go in the woods

And lie in there

I get ticks

And I get Lyme disease

Some people say Lyme disease

Was a man-made disease

Made on Plum Island

Either way…

There’s a war out there

An assault on the earth

They want us disconnected from the earth

And all its essential energies
They don't want us in touch with the earth
They want us out of touch

CREATE YOUR OWN PLACE

CREATE YOUR OWN PLACE

by matt burns

Sometimes I get really down

Because I can’t find my place in the world

But then I realize…

Looking for a place is looking for a precedent

I shouldn’t be looking for a precedent

I should be looking for the unprecedented

No, I should be doing the unprecedented

Not looking

Nothing is wrong with me if I can’t find a place

Everything is right with me if I can’t find a place

Don’t look for a place in the world

Create your own place

TWO MELANCHOLY POEMS

REMEMBER THIS MOMENT

by matt burns

Remember this moment

Walking down the lake road

The path is a dirty one

Dusty, too

You walk the dog

Feeling like a zombie

On a different frequency

A very low one

Almost hell

The depression’s pulling you into the dirt

A bunch of devils

And demons

Clinging onto you

Dragging you down

And down

Down

Remember this moment

Write it down

Because if you ever shake this feeling

And if there ever is a time

When you’re happy

And things are going quite well

You’ll want to look back on this

And realize how far you’ve come

And not take it for granted

I’LL LEAVE JUST AS EMPTY

by matt burns

Long day so far

A long week

A long month

Long year

A long life

Lunch time

I’m hungry

In the stomach

And in the soul

I pull over into the nearest parking lot

I dial the local sub shop

I order a chicken parm sub

The girl asks if I want skosted

I say what

She says toasted

I say yes

She says ten minutes

I hang up

I suddenly notice I’m in a church parking lot

I didn’t mean for this

I did it subconsciously

I want to walk in and find sanctuary

I need a place that provides such a thing

A place to retreat

Recharge

And regroup

But I’ve been to the church before

And there are some statues

Some murals

An altar

And some holy water

But nothing much else

I’ll walk in there

I’ll have so much hope

But I’ll be let down

And I’ll leave just as hungry 

As I was when I walked in

I put my car in drive

And I leave the parking lot to get my sub

If I can't fill my soul

At least I can fill my stomach

I wish the church could be my sanctuary

But it isn’t

No matter how bad I want it to be

MUST DEAL WITH THIS PROCESS

MUST DEAL WITH THIS PROCESS

by matt burns

Just like when somebody dies

Somebody close to you

You just can’t snap your fingers

And say, BE GONE NOW, PAIN!

And a switch goes off in your brain

And you all of a sudden

Feel better

No

You must ride this wave

This wave of pain

There is no other way

You can do whatever you can

To make it easier for yourself

But there’s only so much that can be done

Some may find alcohol helpful

I find this may be true

But the next day the crash comes

And the withdrawal

And this makes things worse

So you must be careful

Or you’ll just be pulled down

By even more sludgy depression

Breaking up

With the girl you’ve felt closest to

The person you’ve felt closest to

It’s tough sludge to deal with

It can’t be an overnight thing

It’s a process

An inevitable process

And you must ride this wave

Take the pain!

And just look forward
Take the pain!
And look even more forward

To the wave’s break

And the salty suds

The fizzle

And then the calm
And peace
That you feel on the New Land

If you even get to new land

The hope is that you find new land

Just like Columbus
Or any other immigrant

Leaving behind the old
And looking for something new

ISIS ISIL EEEZEL BEEELZE BUB

“Everyone thinks of changing the world,

but no one thinks of changing himself.”

                                         --Leo Tolstoy

ISIS ISIL EEEZEL BEEELZE BUB

by matt burns

Yesterday it was Al Qaeda

Today it’s Isis

There will always be that threat

That’s out there somewhere

The vague beastie lurking somewhere on the island

Putting fear inside all of us

And somebody will always exploit that fear

The Lord of the flies

And the Lord will use it to rule us

Manipulate us

Control us

Just like those boys on that island

There will always be an external threat

There always has been

Always will be

There will never be NO threat

So what can you do?

Worry all the time?

Or just mind your own business

Focus on yourself

And forget about the world

The Lord of the flies is cunning

He wants us to focus on the world

Pull us out of ourselves

For a perpetual amount of time

Focus on the Russians!

Cold war over, now focus on Al Qaeda!

Al Qaeda’s weakened

Now focus on Isis!

Isil

Eeeeezel

Beeelze

Bub

What will the next beastie on the island be after Isis?

There will inevitably be one

One distraction follows the other

If you watch the news

There seems to be a beastie of the week

To terrorize us

Everybody thinks about changing the world

But the world can’t be fully changed

There will never be total peace out there

Not on our planet

Not within our species

But there can always be total peace inside you

Change you

Don’t change the world

Everything on the outside

Somewhere

Out there

All those beasties

That you hear about

But never really see…

It’s all an illusion

Created by the Lord of the flies

To build up fear

That destroys your insides

And destroys your soul

But if you retreat into yourself

And tune out what’s outside

The fear weakens

And the Lord loses his power

And he withers away

And dies

And then

Maybe

Comes

The world peace

If there is ever a possibility for world peace

It’s going to start on the inside

Not on the outside

TODAY I GOT A POINT

TODAY I GOT A POINT

by matt burns

Today I got a point in the tennis game of life

The witty fairy visited me last night

And sprinkled witty dust

Over my head

And I smacked my lips

And rolled over once or twice

Coated myself with the dust

And continued my great slumber

I woke up the next day

I went to the pharmacy

I went to the liquor store

I went to the taco shop

The clerks and cashiers and pharmacists

All threw witty remarks at me

Normally I would not play tennis with them

I wouldn’t even attempt to hit the tennis ball

But today I did

I played tennis with them

And I answered their witty remarks

With even wittier remarks

Normally I wish it were socially acceptable

To just say pass

Because I’m not in the mood

Yes, I just want to say ‘pass’

I do not want to play tennis with you

Because I’m not spontaneous

And I’m not quick enough

But I rallied with them today

The tennis ball went back and forth

They eventually swung and missed

And I got a point this time

Today

I got a point

COPYWRITING

COPYWRITING

by matt burns

They said I’d be good at it

Because I’m good at writing

So I gave it a shot

Copywriting for a medical supply company

I never knew writing

Could be a such a dead

Horrible

Thing

If there’s one way to take something good

Fun

And suck the life out of it

I guess copywriting is how to do it

I couldn’t do it

Even if I tried my hardest

There’s something inside me

It says

Stop!

Stop!

It’s a brick wall I cannot surpass

I try

And I try

But I can’t compromise myself

And do this boring writing

And I don’t mean I won’t

I mean I can’t

It’s not how I’m wired

I try

And I try

But the brick wall is there

And it’s a stubborn bastard

Saying stop!

Stop!

Believe me

I want to compromise

Because I guess I can make some good money

I want to so bad

But my brain wasn’t made to write this way

I try to have fun with the words

Make it funny

But that’s not what they want

They want dull

Straight-forward

Something that will appeal to the lowest common consumer

I can only write fun

I can only write creatively

Just because you are good at creative writing

Doesn’t mean you’re good at copywriting

Because copywriting

Is dead writing

Copy

Writing

Is

Death

FRAT BROS IN STARBUCKS

FRAT BROS IN STARBUCKS

by matt burns

I’m sitting in the Starbucks on my laptop

Writing

A bro comes in wearing a tank top

Waiting for his other bro

His other bro comes

They give each other a fancy high-five

They know I’m right there

But they still do their locker room talk

I guess there was a party a couple weeks ago

One of the bros hooked up with a girl

And he’s counting the weeks that go by

Hoping he didn’t get her pregnant

I start feeling weird and awkward

I want to beat these bros up

They sound like such douche bags

But then I realize I’ve talked the same way

I’m guilty of the locker room talk

So I can’t dislike these bros

I want to
But I’d be a hypocrite