CAUGHT IN THE WEB AGAIN

CAUGHT IN THE WEB AGAIN
by matt burns

Being nice
And feeling bad
I gave it an inch
Another inch
And another inch
And for every inch I gave
The more its web enveloped me

I should have noticed the web it was weaving
But the spider
Cunning as it was
Spun it real thin
And almost invisible to the eye
Like those sticky ones you run your face into
Walking on a summer's night

It exploited my weaknesses
It smelled my compassion
So it remained charismatic
Presented itself as needing help
Brought me closer
And closer
Closer

I got too close
And foolishly stayed still
Six webs woven through the arms!
I stayed close, offering more help
Six woven through the legs!
Needy it remained
As my soul drained
Six webs around the neck!

Eventually I started feeling uneasy
There were warning signs
The red flags started subtle
And then more obvious
Soon, they were blatant
But by that time it was too late
I was once again caught
Trapped
In the web of a manipulative personality

It's been crafted yet again,
Built better than a bastion.
These goddamn spiderwebs,
Force me to kill my compassion.

BLACK MASS

NOTE: I'm a huge admirer (is 'fan' a dirty word?) of Johnny Depp. I have always loved his acting roles and him as a person aside from the acting - his love of literature, friendship with Hunter Thompson etc. This poem has more to do with Hollywood than it does with Mr. Depp. It's simply a truthful account of how I felt after attending my first Hollywood movie premiere as a bystander amongst the crowd.


BLACK MASS 
by matt burns

Here I am in the middle of this crowd
Camera high above my head
My trusty third eye
Much higher than the other two
I see everything with this crazy zoom.

The crowd moves along with him
Down the steel barricades
It reminds me of a swarm of bees
Like the kind you see in a cartoon.
But I expected much worse
I envisioned a bunch of screeching boars
Sweating autograph hounds
Aggressive paparazzi.
In fact, I drank 24 ounces of Four Loco as precaution
I felt it was the only proper way to experience this
I needed desensitization
Armor.
I don't do well in crowds
Let alone movie premiere crowds
Not that I've ever been in one
I'm popping my cherry tonight.
But, no, the fans seem tamer than imagined
Everyone smells nice, too
An amalgam of perfumes and colognes, lotions, shampoos
Maybe this is the Four Loco talking
The twelve-percent alcohol volume
It's possibly changed my perception of the reality
Maybe it's not as ok as it seems.

I've been glued to the viewfinder mostly
It's been the only way I can see him
I decide to take one glance away
And holy shit!
He's there
In the flesh
Maybe ten feet away from me tops
A swarm of buzzing bees in front of me, of course
But about ten feet tops.
It's surreal
Everything 'til now has been media 
Images
Video
Film
But now he's 3-d reality.

He finishes signing the autographs 
Gives the fans a salute
Hugs his bodyguard in thanks
Hops into a black SUV
SUV speeds away
Crowd disburses
And I eventually disburse, too
Each street I walk becomes quieter
Darker
Quieter

I buy a 24oz. beer at the store on Beacon Street
Where is everyone?
I'm the only one in the place.
I find a dark bench on the BU campus, my alma mater
It's a good place to pour the beer into my thermos
It's the same thermos I had the Four Loco in.
I get most of it into the thermos
But it's frothy as hell
Shit!
Can only fit so much
I make sure nobody's close
And I drink what's left in the can.

I sip
It's dark
I'm alone
Damn, man
He seemed so cool!
I don't want to admit it
But he just seemed so cool!
Maybe I've caught the fever
The energy of adulation
Can't shake it
He just was so cool!

Seeing him tonight
Bodyguards surrounding him
Police men
Publicists
The whole entourage
It was the antithesis of this dark
Lonely 
Bench.
Going from buzzing movie premiere
To this dark emptiness
It's rattling.
I sit here
Sipping on a beer
Alone inside this empty vacuum of space
Feeling like such a nobody.

Obviously this is not true, you will say
I am a somebody
As much a somebody as him
That's cliche though
We're all full of worth, they say
You read it in every self-help book
Every motivational speaker preaches this good news
It really is true
We're all somebody
But, fuck it
Yes
No
Shake it off!
I'd be remiss if I denied the feelings
Maybe it's a disease I caught from the fans
Maybe Hollywood came into Boston like a demon
And totally fucked with my wiring!
That's what Hollywood's always done
Portrayed its stars to be gods
A true Black Mass perhaps it was
Celebrating idolatry
I was paddocked behind steel barriers with the herd
And there "He" was on the other side
He seemed so somebody
And I feel so nobody
My mind says not true
Remember those self-help books!
But my feelings
Right now
Say 
So 
True

#DOYOURJOB

#DOYOURJOB
by matt burns

Patriots opener
The new slogan
#doyourjob
They keep on hammering it home
Do your job
Do your job

Can't help but think about Hannah Arendt
Eichmann
The banality of evil
You know,
That Nazi who was on trial after the war
They asked him how could he commit such atrocities
I was just doing my job he said

I know, I know
The Patriots meant well
What to do amidst deflate-gate?
All you can do is
Do
Your
Job
Okay, I get that
But it's just being hammered home
Way too intensely
All over the news
All over Facebook
Do your job
#doyourjob

It's not happening on a conscious level
More in the shadowy subconscious
But the more I hear the slogan
The more 
And more 
I feel I'm being re-programmed 
Brainwashed
With a philosophy of amorality

I NEED TO FORGET

I NEED TO FORGET

by matt burns

It's been fourteen years
And all you see on Facebook
Never forget
Never forget
Hashtag
#neverforget

I need to forget
Everybody feels they gotta relive it
So they "never forget"
But what's the point of terrorizing ourselves?
Doesn't that make 9/11 a perpetual terror machine?

And what is NEVER FORGET
But a slogan
Probably created by a government PR firm
So we keep on never forgetting
Terrorizing oursleves
And they keep on using the event as their wild card
Justifying whatever war
Whatever intervention
Whatever surveillance
Whatever raping of our constitutional rights
Whatever "Patriot" Act
That serves their latest agenda

I respect those who died
I respect those who rescued
Including the one last remaining rescue dog (I love dogs)
I respect the hell out of all 'em
But don't make me feel guilty for not terrorizing myself anymore
That's what those in power want
To make us feel real guilty
How dare you forget, they insinuate
Keep reliving those events
Over
And over
Again
So we can take your fear
Manipulate it
And use it to get what we want
#neverforget

DEFLATE-GATE WAS AN INSIDE JOB*

DEFLATE-GATE WAS AN INSIDE JOB*
by matt burns

Deflate-gate was an inside job*

Multiple Superbowl wins
Broken records
Greatest quarterback ever
Most popularity ever
Things have plateaued
Where to go from here?

Deflate-gate was an inside job*

'Til now, it's mostly been a man's sport
Women like the drama
So write them some drama
A scandal
A soap opera
Starring a dreamy hunk
Tom Brady

Deflate-gate was an inside job*

The court battles go on
And on
No resolution
'Wells' reports
Rulings
Appeals

Deflate-gate was an inside job*

And just in the nick of time
Right before the opener
Hooray
Suspension lifted
Tom Brady is exonerated
David beats Goliath
A giant victory for Patriots nation

Deflate-gate was an inside job*

The new season has a new story hook
Prove those haters wrong
Prove those deflated balls had
Nothing
To do with the wins
That's the story
That's the drama
Entertaining for the
Biggest
General
Audience 
EVER

Deflate-gate was an inside job*

*I have no hard evidence to substantiate such claims but I'm going to use Wells report lingo and say "it's more than probable".

TRYING TO TAKE IT ALL IN

TRYING TO TAKE IT ALL IN
by matt burns

Last little stroll before I have to leave
Back and forth
Back and forth along the shore
Trying to take it all in
Can't leave 'til I'm satisfied
I stop 
And stare into the horizon
Pry my eyes wider with my fingers
Trying to suck
Or soak it all in
Just a little more
Little more
The waves crash on the shore
And crash
It's time to go now
I turn and walk away
But I turn around again
One more look at the ocean
I'm still not satisfied
Still feel there's more to take in
The other vacationers seem so content
I'm here
In this beautiful place
And I can't get content
What I take in 
Is 
Never 
Enough

THERE'S ALWAYS THE OCEAN

THERE'S ALWAYS THE OCEAN
by matt burns

Hypnotic colors and whirlpool-like funnels
The MTV announcer dude's voice is slowed down and hypnotic
Miley keeps sticking her tongue out like a serpent
Nicki has this big headdress on her
She looks like some sort of goddess
There's men on their knees below her
Goddess worship, like in Babylon
Another guy's riding in some chariot like a pharaoh
Then, a singer named "the weeknd" is dancing around in flames
Kanye's blabbering on about art
What is art, Kanye?
What I'm seeing on this TV right now?
He ends by saying he smoked weed before the show
Ice Cube's son looks high, too
Cube's hands are locked, thumbs forming a pyramid
Illuminati symbolism all over the place
All-seeing eyes et al.
Then Miley's performance is the finale
Everyone onstage looks like demonic creatures
There's this large disturbing mouth on a screen behind her
The mouth has mud and blood and cum oozing out of it
Everybody's playing with their crotches
Dancers in thongs turn around and spread their ass cheeks
Post-show, Miley smokes a joint on camera
Hands it over to a photographer who smokes the rest
What the fuck am I watching?

Lucky for me, I'm about a hundred yards from the beach
At least I can walk right into the ocean
Submerge myself in salt water, smother myself with seaweed
Cleanse myself from what I just watched on the TV
This ocean's the purest thing left in this world
So charged with good energy
The lungs of God, right here
Breathing good energy into this world
Replacing what the VMA's just sucked out of it

When the world gets all devil on you
And makes you think God is dead
There's always the ocean
It may be far away for some
Closer for others
But it's out there
There's always the ocean

DOG YEARS

DOG YEARS
by matt burns

No wonder why dogs don't live as long as us
You bring them on vacation
In a strange cottage you rented for a week
And they have no idea what's going on
You try to explain
But they don't understand
Their world's collapsing all week
And the stress eats away at their life force

These dogs are are so haunted by fears
Most of the time they have no idea what's going on
Forget going on vacation, just put them in a car
They have no idea where they're going
The park?
Vet?
New home?
So much anxiety
The stress accelerates their aging
And this is why they live 10-15 years tops
That's why, in case you're wondering, you guys

THE INMATES EXPLAIN GASSING

THE INMATES EXPLAIN GASSING
by matt burns

I haven't been feeling well
And I've been vedging on the couch
Watching a lot of Lock-up
The inmates are proud of their gassing
Gassing consists of mixing urine and feces
Let it fester in a bag for a while
Add shards of glass from a crushed light bulb
Then throw contents at prison guard
Guard instinctively wipes it off or smears it
The shards dig into the flesh
The piss and urine gets into the blood
Infectious disease may result

The inmates go on with their explaining
And they're so proud of being good at the gassing
As I listen, I feel like less of a disgrace to society
I try and try to contribute in a constructive way
I don't make much money
And I do utilize some social programs
The economy doesn't benefit much from me
I feel that sometimes I take more than I give
Some days all I do is write poems
Or not even that
Sometimes, I just write in my journal
It isn't much, I know
But at least I'm not locked in prison
Eating away at taxpayer dollars
While all I contribute
Is piss
Shit
Festered
And mixed together with shards of glass

I'm glad there's these prison shows
So I feel worthier of existence

LET IT RAIN OVER ME

Poetry can be found in strip clubs, too...

LET IT RAIN OVER ME

by matt burns

It’s my fourth time being at this club

But I’ve never experienced anything like this

It’s probably about midnight

I have a really good buzz going

And I mustered up the confidence

To sit down

Right by the main stage

Bottle of Budweiser in hand

I take out my one, crinkly dollar bill

And hold it in my hand

I wave it around a bit

I still don’t know what the proper procedure is

Maybe the dancer will come over to me

But, if not, that’s cool, too

I don’t really care for her too much

Her body is nice

But her face looks a little plastic

She must have gotten old

Panicked

And had some surgery done

More men come down and sit around the main stage

I realize they’re all black

And I’m the only white dude

I know I’m out of place

But the booze makes me not care

More men

All black

And more men

All black

Sit and others surround the stage standing

I don’t even know where they came from

It was kind of dead a while ago

But all these black men came out of nowhere

Like they just pulled up in a caravan of nice cars

Rushed the place

And they look really clean and neat, very well-dressed

They have tons of money

They keep throwing down ones

Two songs in and the girl is fully naked

She does very good tricks on the stripper pole

There’s some sinister-sounding rap song blasting

Something about waking up in a new Bugatti

And then some other song about a Trophy Wife

A black man appears to my left

He steps forward

He takes out a stack of ones

He starts dealing them out on the stage like they’re cards

A waterfall of bills covers the stripper’s ass in green

The other men sitting around the stage throw more ones her way

Then other men come up from behind me

They throw a huge stack of ones high into the air

And the bills rain onto the stage

Another man steps forward and throws his stack of twenty

Then there’s a man who runs by and throws the ones like a grenade

It’s raining bills all over the place

Dollar bill confetti

I’m so impressed

It’s truly beautiful

It’s not depressing

You would think it would be depressing, these men throwing bills at a naked chick

But it’s not

I find it to be beautiful art

The music blasting

Powerful bass pounding

And pounding

Pa-pa

Pounding

And then with the nice buzz

Sitting under the rain of money

It’s an experience like none other

It was like some gang just rolled in for about ten minutes

Maybe they were from Boston

Or possibly Brockton

And they bombed the stage with a bunch of dollar bills

And then got the hell out of there

Like that was their thing they liked to do

Go to the club

Stay for one performance

Dump stacks of ones

And then bounce

If this was a gang

I want to be part of this gang

It is so cool

So much style

So beautiful

So

Sa-so

Impressive

If it’s drug money

I want to deal drugs

And be in a gang

And have a bunch of money

That I literally throw around

Like I have so much I don’t care

I want to be these beautiful, well-dressed black men

And create their beautiful visual art
It's the devil's art
But who said the devil's art couldn't be beautiful in its own way?

I want to be part of their ritual

Throwing this money like they just don’t care

Tonight I don’t want to be white
I want to be black and in their gang

THIS WOULD BE THE SOUNDTRACK TO MY DAY IF IT WAS A GOOD DAY

THIS WOULD BE THE SOUNDTRACK TO MY DAY IF IT WAS A GOOD DAY
by matt burns

Jefferson Starship
Jane
It makes me want to rock
It fills me with adrenaline
There's only one thing missing from this:
A good day
I really just wish something good happened today
Not that it was a shit-heap or anything
It was just uneventful
Yet, I stumbled upon this song today
And there was nothing going on to play it to
If only it was a good day
This song would be the perfect soundtrack for it

A COMET THAT'S BURNT OUT

A COMET THAT'S BURNT OUT
by matt burns

I want to keep going
And there is some fuel here and there
Maybe if I rock my tank from side to side there's more
But let's face it
I'm not the comet I used to be
I have very little gas left
Very little
And no matter how hard I fight it
I'm burnt out, man
I'm burnt out

But I've said this before
This is a long road
No gas station for miles
But one will inevitably come
And I'll get a full tank again
Damn, I'm mixing metaphors here
Comet or car?
Choose one
Shit

PLUGGING UP THE HOLES

PLUGGING UP THE HOLES
by matt burns

Like a boat that was poorly constructed from the very beginning

Something doesn't feel right
You're too far offshore to easily turn back
One hole forms
The water spouts up
And you plug that hole with your finger
Then another hole forms
The water spouts
And you plug that one up with your finger
Another hole presents itself
Your toe's next
Another hole 
Another toe!
Then a crack grows from one of the holes
And another crack from another hole
More cracks
More leaks
Cracks
Leaks!
This feels familiar
You've seen it in a cartoon before
Not sure which one
But you've seen it for sure

This is what it feels like fixing the plot to a screenplay

I HOPE SHE THINKS I'M CUTE

I HOPE SHE THINKS I'M CUTE
by matt burns

The girl takes my order for a coffee
She doesn't seem all that nice
She's curt with her answers
Not too welcoming
Not very smiley
Kind of like I'm an inconvenience to her
Then I wonder maybe she's just shy
Her shyness is translating into rudeness
And she's even more shy cuz she thinks I'm cute

For all I know
She may only be 17
She's likely way too young for me
But I get insulted when a girl of any age doesn't think I'm cute
Hell, I'm insulted when gay men don't think I'm cute
So I hope she thinks I'm cute

THE MEANINGS CHANGE WHILE THE COLORS REMAIN

NOTE: This is a weird kind of a poem, but I still wanted to post it here. It is written more as prose, but it's short and sweet like a poem. I say it's a poem so that's what it shall be considered. Thanks.

A symbol of racism or freedom?

THE MEANINGS CHANGE WHILE THE COLORS REMAIN
by matt burns

The colors remain. But the meanings change.

The Confederate flag was once a symbol of freedom. So wasn't the Union flag. But Confederate States denied freedom to blacks so it really symbolized freedom...with exceptions. While the Union flag symbolized freedom with absolutely no exceptions.

Today, the Confederate flag has been demonized. There's a witch hunt for anybody who flies this flag. The South Carolina State House has been forced to take their flag down. Walmart has stopped selling these flags. TV stations are shelving their reruns of the "Dukes of Hazard" show. As absurd as it may sound, people have even suggested that we lock the classic film Gone with the Wind inside a vault, never to be shown again. Same with Griffith's Birth of a Nation.

People who like the flag and still want to fly it have been persecuted. Pressured. Even forced to take it down. Regardless of any 1st amendment rights. 

And therein lies the irony.

Today's American flag (formerly the Union flag) and the Confederate flag have traded symbolic meanings. The Confederate flag has become a symbol of pure, unadulterated freedom, a true champion for the 1st amendment. While the "Union flag" has become a symbol of freedom...with exceptions.

Over time, a flag can come to symbolize many different things. After all, it's just cloth with colors.

The colors remain. But the meanings change.

TEND YOUR KIDS, NOT A GARDEN

Like many of my poems, this is based on a true story:

"Everyone thinks of changing the world,

but no one thinks of changing himself." 

                                          --Leo Tolstoy

TEND YOUR KIDS, NOT A GARDEN
by matt burns

The red-headed boy runs at the family of geese
And the other boy rides his bike at them
The geese run off into the woods 
Scared
The red-headed boy throws a rock at them as they flee
I don't know if it hits any of them
They're hidden by the trees now

I'm walking my dog
Too far away to discipline these boys
Shouting like I want to will only scare my own dog
The costs outweigh any benefits
I'm muzzled

I turn the corner
I see the oblivious mother of the boys tending a garden
Some sort of 'green' project in front of the elementary school
I want to slap her in the face
Wake her up

Tend your own kids
Before you tend a fucking green garden

I TOLD HER I'VE NEVER PLAYED ANGRY BIRDS WHEN I REALLY HAVE

I TOLD HER I'VE NEVER PLAYED ANGRY BIRDS WHEN I REALLY HAVE
by matt burns

I told her I've never played Angry Birds
I was uncomfortable
I knew nobody at the party
And sometimes I lie to make conversation.
I guess I could have said I played Angry Birds
And we still would have had conversation.
Instead, I asked what it's like
Why's this game all the rage?
I've played Angry Birds so many times
But I played dumb.

I've never been very conscious of this
But I lie quite a bit
When I'm uncomfortable
And desperate for conversation
Desperate to fill in the silence
Desperate to fit in
Feel like I connect
And exist.
I've never viewed myself as a pathological liar
But maybe
In this light
I am.

MORE MONEY, MORE OPTIONS

MORE MONEY, MORE OPTIONS
by matt burns

When I was poor
I had little money
Few options
Few possibilities
So the direction was always clear
Poverty showed me the one 
And only 
Way

Now I have too much money
Too many options
Too many possibilities
So the direction
The path
The way
Has never been so limitless
And never been so unclear

PUFFY FACE

PUFFY FACE
by matt burns

Whenever I see him
He has a puffy face
He's holding an extra large coffee
And his glassy eyes look so tired.

I look in the mirror
It's just what I expected:
I look well-rested
Bright-eyed
Healthy
Yuck!

I want a puffy face
So I know I'm doing all I can.

DANCING WITH THE DEVIL

DANCING WITH THE DEVIL
by matt burns

It's fun to dance with the devil
Dancing with Jesus gets boring.
A full life hasn't been lived
Until you do that delicate dance with him
On the edge 
of the 
cliff

But whenever you dance with that slick prince
You must remember to always lead.
Don't let the devil lead
Because he'll lead you right over the edge.
He'll want to lead
And he'll be so gentlemanly
He'll say, oh, just let me lead, it'll be fun
Showering you with charisma throughout
But don't let him lead
Don't let him lead!

I STARTED WATCHING WHALE DOCUMENTARIES

I STARTED WATCHING WHALE DOCUMENTARIES
by matt burns

I started watching whale documentaries
And vowed never to watch the news again
I exorcised the negative
And welcomed the beautiful and positive

But abandoning the news
I felt stupid and uninformed
I had no opinion about anything
I couldn't participate in the popular conversations

I guess immersing yourself in the negative
In this day and age
Makes you informed and smart

Immersing yourself in nothing but the beautiful and positive
Alienates you
And makes you a dumb ass

THE CONTRACT IS GOD

THE CONTRACT IS GOD
by matt burns

I stare the contract in the eye
It has many provisions
And myriad stipulations
All of which are meant dominate my ass
And sodomize me with intense fervor

The people that work for the company love me
They love my work
They love my dependability
They are so supportive
So why do they let the contract sodomize me so?
Why don't they overrule it?
No, they won't
They are human
And the contract is inhuman
Yet, it acquires more reverence than the human
So easily overruled by the human
Because the human always has the power
Though the human still displays utmost reverence to the inhuman
O Humanity!

The contract is God
The contract is Almighty
We've all become enslaved
By an inhuman entity

THE PRESIDENT NEEDS TO BE A PSYCHOPATH

THE PRESIDENT NEEDS TO BE A PSYCHOPATH
by matt burns

Drones hit targets
Two innocent Americans die
Obama apologizes
Later that day the Patriots visit the White House
Superbowl champions, we commend you!
Obama is calm, cool and collected
Cracks jokes
He's bold enough to joke about deflate-gate
Blood is on his hands!
I would have broken the fuck down
No President has ever really broken the fuck down
The President must be able to shut out feelings
The President must not mourn
He must not empathize
In short
He must be psychopathic

Two days later, riots break out in Baltimore
Nobody really knows what happened to Freddie Gray
Including Obama
But the President still sends a delegation to the Freddie funeral
People instantly forget about the drone mishap
The dog has been wagged
Obama's a hero again

ANOTHER APPEARANCE ON WRITER'S INFUSION

ANNOUNCEMENT: this is non-poetry-related but it does have to do with writing. Writer's Infusion recently invited me back on their show, this time to be a guest critiquer (is that a word?). In this webisode, we read a screenplay submission adapted from the novel Go by John Clellon Holmes. Go is said to be the first novel born out of the Beat movement in the 1950s. We all act out the parts during the read-through and then offer constructive criticism afterwards.

GOD GIVES BETTER BLOWJOBS

GOD GIVES BETTER BLOWJOBS

by matt burns

So whenever you give to the poor, don't sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be applauded by people. 

- Matthew 6:2

As Jesus stood on the mount, the people gathered and listened:

"You men in uniform run the marathon in memory of the bombing victims...
You don't wear the proper clothing
So you almost pass out from heat exhaustion
You don't wear the proper shoes
So you have nasty shin splints by the end
And your knees may need surgery.
But you get pats on the back
And all the girls want to give you blowjobs
Even some of the guys
Straight guys
Big, sloppy, nice blowjobs
With little or no teeth.

From one man to another
Hats off to you, brothers.
But I tell you the truth:
The blowjobs you get from Man
Do 
Not 
Compare
To the blowjobs you get from God."