I STARTED WATCHING WHALE DOCUMENTARIES by matt burns I started watching whale documentaries And vowed never to watch the news again I exorcised the negative And welcomed the beautiful and positive But abandoning the news I felt stupid and uninformed I had no opinion about anything I couldn't participate in the popular conversations I guess immersing yourself in the negative In this day and age Makes you informed and smart Immersing yourself in nothing but the beautiful and positive Alienates you And makes you a dumb ass
THE CONTRACT IS GOD by matt burns I stare the contract in the eye It has many provisions And myriad stipulations All of which are meant dominate my ass And sodomize me with intense fervor The people that work for the company love me They love my work They love my dependability They are so supportive So why do they let the contract sodomize me so? Why don't they overrule it? No, they won't They are human And the contract is inhuman Yet, it acquires more reverence than the human So easily overruled by the human Because the human always has the power Though the human still displays utmost reverence to the inhuman O Humanity! The contract is God The contract is Almighty We've all become enslaved By an inhuman entity
THE PRESIDENT NEEDS TO BE A PSYCHOPATH by matt burns Drones hit targets Two innocent Americans die Obama apologizes Later that day the Patriots visit the White House Superbowl champions, we commend you! Obama is calm, cool and collected Cracks jokes He's bold enough to joke about deflate-gate Blood is on his hands! I would have broken the fuck down No President has ever really broken the fuck down The President must be able to shut out feelings The President must not mourn He must not empathize In short He must be psychopathic Two days later, riots break out in Baltimore Nobody really knows what happened to Freddie Gray Including Obama But the President still sends a delegation to the Freddie funeral People instantly forget about the drone mishap The dog has been wagged Obama's a hero again
