THE CONTRACT IS GOD

THE CONTRACT IS GOD
by matt burns

I stare the contract in the eye
It has many provisions
And myriad stipulations
All of which are meant dominate my ass
And sodomize me with intense fervor

The people that work for the company love me
They love my work
They love my dependability
They are so supportive
So why do they let the contract sodomize me so?
Why don't they overrule it?
No, they won't
They are human
And the contract is inhuman
Yet, it acquires more reverence than the human
So easily overruled by the human
Because the human always has the power
Though the human still displays utmost reverence to the inhuman
O Humanity!

The contract is God
The contract is Almighty
We've all become enslaved
By an inhuman entity

GOD GIVES BETTER BLOWJOBS

GOD GIVES BETTER BLOWJOBS

by matt burns

So whenever you give to the poor, don't sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be applauded by people. 

- Matthew 6:2

As Jesus stood on the mount, the people gathered and listened:

"You men in uniform run the marathon in memory of the bombing victims...
You don't wear the proper clothing
So you almost pass out from heat exhaustion
You don't wear the proper shoes
So you have nasty shin splints by the end
And your knees may need surgery.
But you get pats on the back
And all the girls want to give you blowjobs
Even some of the guys
Straight guys
Big, sloppy, nice blowjobs
With little or no teeth.

From one man to another
Hats off to you, brothers.
But I tell you the truth:
The blowjobs you get from Man
Do 
Not 
Compare
To the blowjobs you get from God."

JUDGE NOT, THAT YE BE NOT JUDGED

GOOD JUDGING, BAD JUDGING

by matt burns

Everybody judges

It’s part of the survival instinct

When we were more primal

We needed to use those instincts

To discern between safety and danger

If you see a man wearing dark clothes

And a hood

With purple hair

Covered in tattoos

You avoid that man

Your instincts say he could be dangerous

This is judging

But good judging

It’s survival skills

Inherent in human nature

Bad judging

Is when you finally meet that man

The man in dark clothing

Covered in tattoos

Purple hair

And you talk to him

And realize he’s nice

And starts sending good vibes

But you still get away from him

Because you don’t want to be seen with him

And your friends would say ‘why are you with that man?’

And your fantasies didn’t ever envision you with that kind of man

A man with an appearance antithetical to your dream man

So you get away from the man

This is bad judging

Bad judging

Is denying your gut

That gut that picks up the good vibes

Yet you ignore the good vibes

Because your ego tells you to walk away

You don’t associate with men of such appearance

Your gut is plugged into God

And if your gut’s telling you everything is good

God is telling you everything is good

So if you deny your gut, you deny God

And that is the sin

That is the sin of judging

It is all about the gut

All judging that is good judging

Comes from the gut

Because a man could have a wonderful appearance

But your gut could be saying something is wrong with him

If you listen to the gut, you listen to God

Appearances are the devil’s game

If you listen to the appearance, you listen to the devil

RESCUING OLIVER FROM HEAVEN

RESCUING OLIVER FROM HEAVEN

by matt burns

The boy was sad that his dog Oliver died

He asked his mom where dogs go when they die

His mom told him Oliver was in heaven now

The boy decided he would go and rescue his dog in heaven

The boy asked how he could get there

The mom said by going to Church every Sunday and listening to the priests

The boy went to Church and listened to the priests

After Mass, the boy asked the priest where heaven was

The priest told him high in the sky somewhere

The boy went to his neighbor the pilot and asked if he could fly him to heaven

The pilot laughed and said heaven was inside of him and pointed to his heart

The boy went to the doctor and asked him if he could perform surgery

Open him up

Find heaven

So he could find his dog

The doctor laughed 

The kingdom of heaven is inside you, it’s just a figure of speech, he said

So how do I get to heaven, the boy asked

The doctor didn’t know what to say because he didn’t believe

Ask your mom he said

And the boy was back at square one

The boy was sad that Oliver was far off in some place

And nobody even knew where this place was

KNEELING IN CHURCH

A Saturday morning in Church gives birth to this poem...

KNEELING IN CHURCH

by matt burns

It’s Saturday morning Mass

Memorial Mass for family members

9am

There aren’t many people in the church

The priest reads passages that I try to pay attention to

But they don’t resonate with me

They’re not saying much

Just about Jesus saving Israelites

Or is it Moses?

Not sure

One thing I do like, though, is when the priest pauses a bit

For meditation

And the whole church is silent

I haven’t felt such a peaceful energy in a while

The church is small, bright, white…

And it embodies such a peaceful vibe

So tranquil

And you can hear the morning birds chirping outside

If there ever was a time I felt connected to a God

That time is probably now

I just want it to remain silent

And listen to Him speak

But then I guess the priest says we’re supposed to kneel

So I figure, When in Rome, I should do what everybody else does

I kneel

But the kneelers are so uncomfortable

They don’t have much cushion

And the wood digs into the bones of my knees

Kneeling in itself is uncomfortable for me

But then add the lack of cushioning

And it’s more uncomfortable 

The discomfort is a distraction

It gets in the way of me feeling God

And listening to God

I realize at that moment

That the kneelers are the devil

A pesky obstruction

Having no good purpose

Other than to get in the way of me

And God

And my clear communication with Him

The devil hath cunningly tricked us

Into thinking kneeling brings us closer to God

But the opposite is true…for me, anyway

In this moment

Kneeling brings me much further away from God