NOTE: I'm a huge admirer (is 'fan' a dirty word?) of Johnny Depp. I have always loved his acting roles and him as a person aside from the acting - his love of literature, friendship with Hunter Thompson etc. This poem has more to do with Hollywood than it does with Mr. Depp. It's simply a truthful account of how I felt after attending my first Hollywood movie premiere as a bystander amongst the crowd. BLACK MASS by matt burns
Here I am in the middle of this crowd Camera high above my head My trusty third eye Much higher than the other two I see everything with this crazy zoom.
The crowd moves along with him Down the steel barricades It reminds me of a swarm of bees Like the kind you see in a cartoon. But I expected much worse I envisioned a bunch of screeching boars Sweating autograph hounds Aggressive paparazzi. In fact, I drank 24 ounces of Four Loco as precaution I felt it was the only proper way to experience this I needed desensitization Armor. I don't do well in crowds Let alone movie premiere crowds Not that I've ever been in one I'm popping my cherry tonight. But, no, the fans seem tamer than imagined Everyone smells nice, too An amalgam of perfumes and colognes, lotions, shampoos Maybe this is the Four Loco talking The twelve-percent alcohol volume It's possibly changed my perception of the reality Maybe it's not as ok as it seems. I've been glued to the viewfinder mostly It's been the only way I can see him I decide to take one glance away And holy shit! He's there In the flesh Maybe ten feet away from me tops A swarm of buzzing bees in front of me, of course But about ten feet tops. It's surreal Everything 'til now has been media Images Video Film But now he's 3-d reality. He finishes signing the autographs Gives the fans a salute Hugs his bodyguard in thanks Hops into a black SUV SUV speeds away Crowd disburses And I eventually disburse, too Each street I walk becomes quieter Darker Quieter
I buy a 24oz. beer at the store on Beacon Street Where is everyone? I'm the only one in the place. I find a dark bench on the BU campus, my alma mater It's a good place to pour the beer into my thermos It's the same thermos I had the Four Loco in. I get most of it into the thermos But it's frothy as hell Shit! Can only fit so much I make sure nobody's close And I drink what's left in the can.
I sip It's dark I'm alone Damn, man He seemed so cool! I don't want to admit it But he just seemed so cool! Maybe I've caught the fever The energy of adulation Can't shake it He just was so cool!
Seeing him tonight Bodyguards surrounding him Police men Publicists The whole entourage It was the antithesis of this dark Lonely Bench. Going from buzzing movie premiere To this dark emptiness It's rattling. I sit here Sipping on a beer Alone inside this empty vacuum of space Feeling like such a nobody.
Obviously this is not true, you will say I am a somebody As much a somebody as him That's cliche though We're all full of worth, they say You read it in every self-help book Every motivational speaker preaches this good news It really is true We're all somebody But, fuck it Yes No Shake it off! I'd be remiss if I denied the feelings Maybe it's a disease I caught from the fans Maybe Hollywood came into Boston like a demon And totally fucked with my wiring! That's what Hollywood's always done Portrayed its stars to be gods A true Black Mass perhaps it was Celebrating idolatry I was paddocked behind steel barriers with the herd And there "He" was on the other side He seemed so somebody And I feel so nobody My mind says not true Remember those self-help books! But my feelings Right now Say So True
#DOYOURJOB by matt burns Patriots opener The new slogan #doyourjob They keep on hammering it home Do your job Do your job Can't help but think about Hannah Arendt Eichmann The banality of evil You know, That Nazi who was on trial after the war They asked him how could he commit such atrocities I was just doing my job he said I know, I know The Patriots meant well What to do amidst deflate-gate? All you can do is Do Your Job Okay, I get that But it's just being hammered home Way too intensely All over the news All over Facebook Do your job #doyourjob It's not happening on a conscious level More in the shadowy subconscious But the more I hear the slogan The more And more I feel I'm being re-programmed Brainwashed With a philosophy of amorality
by matt burns It's been fourteen years And all you see on Facebook Never forget Never forget Hashtag #neverforget I need to forget Everybody feels they gotta relive it So they "never forget" But what's the point of terrorizing ourselves? Doesn't that make 9/11 a perpetual terror machine? And what is NEVER FORGET But a slogan Probably created by a government PR firm So we keep on never forgetting Terrorizing oursleves And they keep on using the event as their wild card Justifying whatever war Whatever intervention Whatever surveillance Whatever raping of our constitutional rights Whatever "Patriot" Act That serves their latest agenda I respect those who died I respect those who rescued Including the one last remaining rescue dog (I love dogs) I respect the hell out of all 'em But don't make me feel guilty for not terrorizing myself anymore That's what those in power want To make us feel real guilty How dare you forget, they insinuate Keep reliving those events Over And over Again So we can take your fear Manipulate it And use it to get what we want #neverforget
DEFLATE-GATE WAS AN INSIDE JOB* by matt burns Deflate-gate was an inside job* Multiple Superbowl wins Broken records Greatest quarterback ever Most popularity ever Things have plateaued Where to go from here? Deflate-gate was an inside job* 'Til now, it's mostly been a man's sport Women like the drama So write them some drama A scandal A soap opera Starring a dreamy hunk Tom Brady Deflate-gate was an inside job* The court battles go on And on No resolution 'Wells' reports Rulings Appeals Deflate-gate was an inside job* And just in the nick of time Right before the opener Hooray Suspension lifted Tom Brady is exonerated David beats Goliath A giant victory for Patriots nation Deflate-gate was an inside job* The new season has a new story hook Prove those haters wrong Prove those deflated balls had Nothing To do with the wins That's the story That's the drama Entertaining for the Biggest General Audience EVER Deflate-gate was an inside job* *I have no hard evidence to substantiate such claims but I'm going to use Wells report lingo and say "it's more than probable".
TRYING TO TAKE IT ALL IN by matt burns Last little stroll before I have to leave Back and forth Back and forth along the shore Trying to take it all in Can't leave 'til I'm satisfied I stop And stare into the horizon Pry my eyes wider with my fingers Trying to suck Or soak it all in Just a little more Little more The waves crash on the shore And crash It's time to go now I turn and walk away But I turn around again One more look at the ocean I'm still not satisfied Still feel there's more to take in The other vacationers seem so content I'm here In this beautiful place And I can't get content What I take in Is Never Enough
THERE'S ALWAYS THE OCEAN by matt burns Hypnotic colors and whirlpool-like funnels The MTV announcer dude's voice is slowed down and hypnotic Miley keeps sticking her tongue out like a serpent Nicki has this big headdress on her She looks like some sort of goddess There's men on their knees below her Goddess worship, like in Babylon Another guy's riding in some chariot like a pharaoh Then, a singer named "the weeknd" is dancing around in flames Kanye's blabbering on about art What is art, Kanye? What I'm seeing on this TV right now? He ends by saying he smoked weed before the show Ice Cube's son looks high, too Cube's hands are locked, thumbs forming a pyramid Illuminati symbolism all over the place All-seeing eyes et al. Then Miley's performance is the finale Everyone onstage looks like demonic creatures There's this large disturbing mouth on a screen behind her The mouth has mud and blood and cum oozing out of it Everybody's playing with their crotches Dancers in thongs turn around and spread their ass cheeks Post-show, Miley smokes a joint on camera Hands it over to a photographer who smokes the rest What the fuck am I watching?
Lucky for me, I'm about a hundred yards from the beach At least I can walk right into the ocean Submerge myself in salt water, smother myself with seaweed Cleanse myself from what I just watched on the TV This ocean's the purest thing left in this world So charged with good energy The lungs of God, right here Breathing good energy into this world Replacing what the VMA's just sucked out of it
When the world gets all devil on you And makes you think God is dead There's always the ocean It may be far away for some Closer for others But it's out there There's always the ocean
DOG YEARS by matt burns
No wonder why dogs don't live as long as us You bring them on vacation In a strange cottage you rented for a week And they have no idea what's going on You try to explain But they don't understand Their world's collapsing all week And the stress eats away at their life force
These dogs are are so haunted by fears Most of the time they have no idea what's going on Forget going on vacation, just put them in a car They have no idea where they're going The park? Vet? New home? So much anxiety The stress accelerates their aging And this is why they live 10-15 years tops That's why, in case you're wondering, you guys
THE INMATES EXPLAIN GASSING by matt burns I haven't been feeling well And I've been vedging on the couch Watching a lot of Lock-up The inmates are proud of their gassing Gassing consists of mixing urine and feces Let it fester in a bag for a while Add shards of glass from a crushed light bulb Then throw contents at prison guard Guard instinctively wipes it off or smears it The shards dig into the flesh The piss and urine gets into the blood Infectious disease may result
The inmates go on with their explaining And they're so proud of being good at the gassing As I listen, I feel like less of a disgrace to society I try and try to contribute in a constructive way I don't make much money And I do utilize some social programs The economy doesn't benefit much from me I feel that sometimes I take more than I give Some days all I do is write poems Or not even that Sometimes, I just write in my journal It isn't much, I know But at least I'm not locked in prison Eating away at taxpayer dollars While all I contribute Is piss Shit Festered And mixed together with shards of glass
I'm glad there's these prison shows So I feel worthier of existence
BLACK MASS 
He finishes signing the autographs 
