WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY

WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY
by matt burns

I sit up late
Drinking beer
And listening to RUSH
And I think about what really makes me happy
Because that’s what the spiritual therapist said to do
I’m supposed to arrive at this conclusion
But I’m having trouble

At first I think about strip clubs
I am genuinely always happy there
But I know the happiness is short-lived
The next day, I’m empty

And then I think about writing
I’ve been doing a ton of that
Tons and tons and tons
But no matter how much I do
I never really achieve any state of lasting happiness
Or even a sense of accomplishment, come to think of it

Maybe if I finally get rewarded for my writing
With recognition
And money
But I’ve never received a penny for my writing before
So I don’t know if that would make me happy
And whether the happiness would last much longer than at the strip club
So it’s all hypothetical
And exists in a potential future that may never manifest
I may NEVER get paid for my writing
So happiness needs to come from some place else

But I don’t know where
I really don’t

What I do know
Is that sitting here
Up late
Trying to think about what makes me happy
Racking my brain
Does not make me happy
In fact, I’m much more unhappy
Sitting here
Drinking
Stressing my brain
Thinking that I’m supposed to figure this out
And keep coming up dry

So I don’t know what makes me happy
And I think that’s fine for now
I do not know
What beautiful words
I…do…not…know

Eureka!
The devil hath taken on a new guise
That of a positive psychologist
A spiritual guru therapist
Telling me to go and meditate
And figure out what makes me happy
Knowing full well
That I will stress
And rack my brain
And be convinced my unhappiness is all my fault
And I'll hate myself for not identifying what makes me happy
And that clever devil will laugh knowing he made me worse off in the end

Tip of the hat to you, O DEVIL!
You hath tricked me again!
Nothing but reverence I give to you!
Once again
I am in awe of your tricky
Clever
Ways!

Yes, the irony
Sitting here stressing over what makes me happy
Thinking the answer must be so simple
But not getting anywhere with the answer
Has made me all the more unhappy
Brilliant, devil!

So what really makes me happy?
Not sitting here
Busting my brain
Thinking I should know what makes me happy

What makes me happy
Is knowing that I do not know
And it's ok not to know
That's what makes me happy

Be gone, devil!

IT'S OK TO BE MISERABLE

DON’T FIGHT THE MISERY

by matt burns

I know that I’m supposed to love myself

And I’m supposed to think positive

And I’m supposed to be happy

But there are days

When I’m really quite miserable

Maybe not even for a specific reason

Maybe I’m hung over

Or maybe I ate some Hot Pockets 

Or some other microwaveable crap with additives

And artificial flavorings 

That tend to make me cranky…

Who knows why I’m miserable today

But for some reason I am

And I think I’m not alone

I think a lot of you out there are miserable some days

Well, sirs and ma’ams,

I can’t tell you how much better I feel

When I just admit that I’m miserable

And I decide to be OK with being miserable

And not fight it

Just say

I am miserable and it is what it is

Most of my pain

Most of my anxiety

Is born out of me fighting the misery

I’m ashamed that I’m miserable

I’m ashamed that I’m being negative

I’m ashamed that I’m not thinking positively

Because, fuck, we’re all supposed to be positive!

We’re all supposed to love ourselves

And be happy all the fucking time

That Pharrell Williams guy says BE HAPPY

Do what Pharrell says!

But I’m not happy all the fucking time

And I’m not going to fight it

Because fighting it makes me more miserable

And borderline insane

I am miserable

And I’m OK with it

It’s OK to be this way

Be miserable

It’s fine

NEW POEM INSPIRED BY PHARRELL WILLIAMS!

A thousand thanks to Pharrell Williams for inspiring this poem!

DON’T BE HAPPY

by matt burns

The song on the radio

By that guy

Pharrell Williams

Says I’m happy

Over

And over again

It’s positive psychology

Keep telling yourself you’re happy

And you’ll be happy

If there’s bad stuff going on in the news…

Be happy

If your job sucks

Be happy

If you’re struggling to make ends meet

Be happy

If your government is corrupt

Be happy

Don’t be dissatisfied

Dissatisfaction is negativity

And nobody likes a Negative Nancy

Be complacent

Be satisfied

Be happy

But here’s what I want to tell you…

Happiness is satisfaction

And satisfaction is death

While dissatisfaction

Is life

Don’t be happy

Be dissatisfied

Live 

Change

Make a difference

Don’t be complacent

With

The 

Bullshit

Don’t be pacified

Like 

A

Zombie

Who’s just grinning non-stop

Happy 

And out of the way

Also

Pharrell Williams

Is

A

Whore

Giving people what they want

But not what they need

Like spoon-feeding sugar

To a child

Who 

Needs

Medicine