I WISH I COULD BLAME THE DISEASE

they're lucky...because they get to call it a disease...and, for me, it's just a bad habit...I could call it a disease...but I'd be full of shit...I know it's just a bad habit...though I wish I could blame the disease...all the bad things I've done under the influence...it's the disease's fault...blame the disease...I'm not doubting the disease exists...I'm just saying I'm envious of those who have it...because those with the disease get a free pass...all their bad decisions become null and void...God, don't blame me, blame the disease...damn, I wish this bad habit could progress to the level of a disease...then my soul and conscience would suddenly be clean...I push hard to get this habit to the next level...but it never happens...it will forever remain just a bad habit...and I'll forever remain responsible for my actions