STAY AWAY FROM THE PENDULUM

The pendulum swings to the right
The pendulum swings to the left
If I want to be a true liberal
I must be wherever the pendulum isn't
I must stay away from that pendulum
The pendulum is bad news

I CAN SAY BOLOGNA SANDWICHES TO STEPHEN HAWKING

Kamala Harris
She's the former attorney general of California
Now she's United States senator
Also part of the Senate Intelligence Committee
Half the time I'm not even sure what she's saying
But she makes facial expressions
Raises her eyebrows
Wiggles in her chair
Leans forward
Tilts her head
Speaks over people
Cuts them off sometimes
And this makes her look smart
In the know
Superior to whoever she's talking to

For all I know she IS superior
And smarter
More in the know
Because I admit I'm not that smart
So she may know something I don't
Not sure
But I also realize I could say
"Bologna sandwiches"
To Stephen Hawking
Over and over again
Then raise my eyebrows
Shift around in my chair
Cock my head a bit
Look somewhat annoyed 
And many people would still think I'm
Smarter than
And superior to
Stephen Hawking

IT'S A MENTAL ILLNESS

With anorexia, it doesn't matter how thin you are
You're never thin enough
Your body is never good enough

With my writing, it doesn't matter how much I've written
Books, screenplays, poems, essays...
It's never enough
The output is never good enough

So I keep writing and writing
Not because I love it
But because of the disease
An endless pursuit to be good enough

I will never stop
It's a mental illness

HELL IS RISING

...I went to the usual spot...closed my eyes...quieted my mind in meditation...awaited the presence of the ascended master...and, soon, he appeared to me...

...I had one question for the master...what is hell like...and then he told me...

...imagine a place where there is never-ending fury...

...mixed with the sound of constant cursing, complaining, bickering, quibbling and blaming...

...along with the sounds of lamentation...weeping...wailing...moaning...sighing...sobbing...

...and cries of fear...pain...and woe...

...then, there is the worship of all materials...the flaunting of riches...prestige...

...love is also reduced to a material...where lovers are but trophies and displayed as such...

...I told the master that this place sounds familiar...I joked and said it reminds me of what-we-call social media...like Facebook...

...the master did not laugh, however...but remained serious...

...this social media...this Facebook...it is the hell I speak of...in a different guise no doubt...but it is made of the same energy found in hell....and is, thus, also hell...it is hell and hell is it...

...I could not help but utter "holy shit" under my breath and then apologized to the master for my disrespectful reaction, though he understood...

...he simply said that hell is rising...it's bubbling up into our world...and, with that, he disappeared...

WE'LL MEET AGAIN

sitting in the coffee shop...working on my laptop...I overhear the conversation taking place at a table close by...a bride-to-be and wedding planner...seems so strange to me...no, it's wonderful, don't get me wrong...beautiful even...and I mean that seriously...because here I am thinking why would you go to all that effort for a wedding...unfathomable to me...must be nice, though...to find somebody you love...so much that you want to celebrate that love with a wedding...one you put so much planning...not to mention money into...hire a DJ...photographer...videographer...invite all your friends...I shrug and kind of smile...that's really awesome...and, again, I mean that with all seriousness...but for me...not in this lifetime, dude...that kind of life seems so far removed, like in another dimension...because I think I know my lot now...and I've been fine with it, too...not depressed by any means...but "love", shit, that's for others, not me...I was comfortably numb...not in love...but not sad about not being in love either...I could ride this out until the end...cruise control, baby...no problemo, I'm cool with this...and totally at peace

and then it blindsided me

only about an hour or two later...a simple conversation with a new girl...only a few minutes in...everything about her mesmerizes me...the sound of her voice sounds like water trickling through stones...I'm left frozen...stunned...oh my God...I know this feeling...I was so ok being without this feeling...but, shit, it's here...been gone so long...but here it is...no warning...no time to prepare...it's just BOOM here I am...and here I am stunned...paralyzed...I don't want the conversation to end...I want it to go on forever and ever and ever...I don't want to let go...don't go away from me...please stay with me for the rest of time...please don't walk away...

but it ends...and she walks away...and I want to shout please come back...come back...but I can't say it...I see her disappear...and here I am left alone...feeling punch-drunk...head spinning...can't think straight...can hardly function...then I become pissed!..so pissed that I crossed paths with this girl!..because I thought the feeling was gone for good...never wanted to feel it again...wanted to believe it was all in the past...and I could cruise along until death...but here it was...reminding me that it's still around...and I won't get off that easy...love is out there, it was saying...not even with this specific girl...because I don't even know if I'll see her again...but it wasn't about her anyway...it was what she embodied...the feeling she represented...and how it reminded me it still exists...and you can't run away from it...nor can you shield yourself from it...love is out there...whether you like it or not...

and you'll have to deal with it again