EATING THE LOBSTER

EATING THE LOBSTER

by matt burns

It’s my first time eating lobster

It turns out the fantasy was better than the reality

It’s a lot of work

And it’s also pretty savage

Here’s this lobster

He was alive just before going into the pot

And then maybe twenty, thirty minutes later…

Here he is

Boiled and red

Everything is still intact

Especially his eyes

Which seem to stare at me, eerily

And I’m sure his soul’s still lingering nearby

Looking down on me

And calculating how much negative karma 

He’s going to bring my way

I have no idea what I’m doing

Do you just start biting into the thing?

My uncle shows me how to do it

You take the walnut-cracker device

And you crack at the claws and the bottom torso

You crack and crack

You peel off the shells

My aunt comes around with a hammer

“These lobsters have harder shells than normal!” she announces

She puts a claw on the floor of the deck

And hammers at it until the shell breaks

I give the whole process a try

Juices squirt everywhere

Guts and juice splatter all over my plastic bib

I cut my hands as I peel the hard shelling

My mouth waters as I crack and peel

I get the itch

I catch the lobster fever

I savagely rip apart the crustacean and find the meat

Then I drown the meat in butter

You start out slow

A little shy

Neat and clean

But you end with so much salivation

So much savagery

Search and destroy

Find that edible meat

Drown it in butter

And eat

This isn’t just about the eating

It’s about the process

People don’t just love the meat

They love the hunt

They love the destruction

Love the salivation

Love the savagery

That’s what eating lobster’s all about