HEY BIG GUY!

HEY BIG GUY!

by matt burns

I’m at the Subway sandwich shop

And there’s a guy in front of me in line

He’s very tan, probably Italian

And he wears a Backpack

He’s maybe in his 50s 

He seems a little sweaty, like he’s been walking a while

Or I think he may have just gotten off the city bus

And he says to the guy making his sandwich

“HEY BIG GUY!”

And then he says he wants a lotta extra mayo or something like that

The Subway employee making the sandwich

Is an East Indian man

A little short

And shy

And does not speak very good English

The Italian man ordering the sandwich looks damaged

From maybe a lifetime of putdowns

Maybe his father treated him like crap

And his mother thought he was never good enough

Maybe the kids at school gave him a hard time

The teachers, too

And coaches, gym teachers…

After a lifetime of putdowns

He seems happy to have found somebody he feels taller than

Both physically

And in terms of confidence

The man making his sandwich is his servant

For at least the next minute or two

And the Italian likes this

“HEY BIG GUY!”

Is his attempt to sound cool

And to make himself feel all the more superior

And to trick himself into thinking he’s always been this kind of person

Mr. Confidence

He relishes this opportunity to feel above somebody else

But he’s not really a dickhead about it

He’s just happy to be superior

Everybody is happy to be superior once in a while

Especially those of us who are insecure

And most of us are

No, I don’t think this guy’s a condescending dick

I understand where he’s coming from

I like to feel superior, too

Though I’m not so obvious about it

Just because I hide my power-trips

Doesn’t mean I don’t still have them